The Bible makes it very clear that believers in Jesus Christ should be known for their love and kindness among those around them. In fact, Jesus Himself taught that people would be able to identify Christians by the fruit they bear—with love being chief among such fruit (John 13:35). If then, one would expect believers in this day and age to be friendly, caring and considerate. However, a number of reasons can be put forward as to why this often times does not seem to be the case.

A Poor Understanding of the Gospel

Firstly, it is essential to acknowledge that a poor understanding of the gospel may be a key reason as to why some Christians fail to exhibit kindness consistently. When individuals become believers without fully understanding the message of grace encompassed within the gospel, they tend to fall into legalism—seeking salvation through their own efforts rather than what Christ accomplished on the cross (Ephesians 2:8–9). This type of mindset can cause believers to focus more on enforcing rules than on being loving and gracious, making it difficult for them to be kindly toward others who may not meet certain standards.

Legalism and Self-Righteousness

Secondly, legalistic attitudes coupled with self-righteousness often result in Christians behaving with pride and judgmentalism instead of compassion and kindness. This arises when Christians begin to see themselves as having arrived spiritually while their non-Christian counterparts are perceived as being behind. This kind of mindset breeds hostility against anyone who doesn’t conform to Christian norms or even changes Christian traditions in any way—diluting the true essence of love, grace, and kindness that Christians are meant to embody (Luke 6:31).

Cultural Opposition Between Christianity and the World

Thirdly, the cultural opposition between Christianity and the world at large may hinder Christians from showing kindness effectively. Because Christian beliefs can be at stark odds with secular values, some believers feel they have an obligation to constantly oppose societal shifts lest they compromise God's laws. While such convictions should be respected, a rigid stance on matters could make Christians come off as intolerant and unkind to individuals holding varying views, despite their best intentions (1 Peter 3:8–9).

Focus on Salvation Instead of Love Commandments

Fourthly, many Christians may give priority to their personal salvation rather than heeding Christ’s commandment to love their neighbors as themselves—with this sometimes leading to neglecting opportunities to show kindness where needed. It's important to note that while salvation by faith is fundamental for any believer, loving others as ourselves is a direct command of Christ, indicating its significant worth (Matthew 22:37–39).


In conclusion, multiple factors can explain why Christians sometimes struggle with demonstrating kindness. Insufficient grasp of the gospel message, legalism, self-righteousness, tension with secular culture, and fixation on personal salvation all contribute to this phenomenon. To counteract these issues, Christians must strive to immerse themselves in Scripture, cultivate humility, foster grace-oriented attitudes, engage with their surroundings in love, and prioritize both their relationship with Christ and neighbourly love equally.